A Fight, What???

I did have a wonderful weekend with Ashley. It started on Friday when went to see Death Cab in concert at the Fox. It was way better than I expected. I had a lot of fun and I could actually remember some of the song that was being preformed. After the concert we ate a Piebar. I had a white pizza while Ash got pepperoni. It was really good. The restaurant was real futuristic looking and it was in a weird location. Ash slept the whole way home and then asked me if she had feel asleep..... YEAH!!!!!!! lol. When we got back to her place I didn't want to leave, but she was really sleepy and so I just dropped her off. On Saturday, I went and picked her up and we went to Emory to visit a museum. It was ok, but you can't compare it to the ones we saw in Boston. That took up a couple of hours and then we went to Huey's for brunch. That was really good. I enjoyed spending time with Ash and I figured when we got back to her house that she'd send me packing but that wasn't the case. We played around on the couch like old time. Then I helped her find a scene form the movie North Country to collaborate into her group presentation. While watching the movie, she expressed a dire want to go to Macaroni's Grill for dinner. That was cool with me. She even offered to pay. We chilled a little longer and we headed out a little after 9. The service was great and so was the food. I had a little left so got it boxed up to go. When we arrived back to the house, she finished up some work and jumped up in the bed with me. She couldn't keep her eyes open and started falling asleep. I was doing all I could not to fall asleep because her folks still hadn't made it back home. She woke up and we went downstairs were she continued to drift of to sleep. I didn't mind, I was trying to spend as much time with her as I could.

Last night, Ash and me had our first fight in a long time. It was nothing big or anything but it could have been avoided. I got a long apology via an email. It was really sweet and I truly appreciated it. I'm glad she acknowledges how patience I am with stuff. I just don't how much longer I can be like that. I know that before my medication was helping me and it wasn't hard to be patience about stuff. But I'm no longer on anything. I don't want to get back on medication just to keep this relationship going. I was feeling down some last week but I think it was a combination of a lot of stuff going on at once. I really don't want to get on any meds right now. Sometime I really don't know what to do because it seems like everything I do is wrong. I feel like the relationship is somewhat unbalanced with her getting mostly what she wants. No matter, I still question my ability to keep going like I am. I don't want to just snap one day and truly regret whatever happens at that point. I do love Ashley with all my heart and I know that she is the one for me and I'm commented to do whatever it takes to keep this relationship going. After the email, she called me back and we talked on the phone for a good length of time. It felt so good just talking to her about my feelings and stuff cause I haven't done it in along time. I think I haven't sheared my feelings because I don't believe she believes me when I tell her stuff. I don't know what I did to make her second guess everything I say but it really bothers me. I'll get to see her later on tonight and we'll finish our conversation we had last night.